I don’t even know anymore.
I ‘ve been thinking a lot about direction lately. Reflecting since my birthday, reflecting before we enter into a new year.
Most days, my direction is based on what kind of mood the child is in, or what kind of stuff needs to be addressed domestically. Those are the parts of this “job” (which I never refer to it as) that are the most flexible. Little dude wants to head down to the ocean for collection of sea shells? Well, okay! Laundry is piled up to the point that said piles are falling down? Time to pause for that on the immediate. Kitchen looks clean enough, but isn’t even remotely tidy? Better spend nap time organizing to the tune of Tegan and Sara with a big mug of coffee. Little dude wants to play at home all day? Sure! I can even get some writing in.
My days’ directions are fluid and flexible. Sounds like a dream to some, and I’m not here to complain because I’m not one to complain about that kind of thing. Of course, there are some days when I miss the get up and go that working out of the house offered. I think I’ll appreciate when the little dude is school age for this very reason. Direction these days looks like four arrows pointing in all directions every day. Coffee is usually my compass.
Upon reflecting these last couple weeks, I’ve been thinking about big picture direction. I’ve been given such a platform for my creative spirt since becoming pregnant with our child over 4 years ago (yes, little dude will be four in a few months!). Maybe it was the pregnancy hormones or maybe it was just the way my life suddenly made sense. Since that time, I’ve been fortunate to work on so many projects and have been writing so much. Leading into next year, I’ll be giving podcasting a go (with a dear friend) and I think I’d like to take a music class (maybe with little dude) in hopes to be able to write music. This is big picture stuff that I’m both trepidatious and excited about. Big picture stuff that I can’t quite actualize in my mind at all. I guess that’s what makes it BIG picture.
I’m the kind of girl who makes lists every day. Carry them on over to more lists. Rarely does an entire list get checked off (unless my maddog hubs is helping; that dude gets shit done). This morning, I sat down with coffee + made a few lists + sent off a few texts + email corresponded. Thus, I felt significantly more empowered to just enjoy these last weeks of 2013.
Holiday cheer is strong in this home, in our lives. We’re not religious folks, but we’re the kind of folks that are just FIRED UP about all things wintertime. We love these last few weeks of the year. Eggnog, holiday parties, gifting, giving, singing carols, and all the family traditions. We do a fancy pants lunch with our family of three on Christmas Eve and we fondue our faces on New Years Eve. Bonkers amounts of cheer all over in this life and enough twinkle lights to make Clark Griswold PROUD.
As you sit wherever you are reading this, remember this simple point: You can’t get it all done, you just can’t. I’ll tell you what I do: I get done what inspires me, what fuels my soul, and what makes sense by each hour. Sometimes, that’s a cup of coffee while playing on the floor with my favorite little dude. Sometimes, that’s hunkering down with laundry and making a leisurely meal over the weekend. Sometimes, that’s getting out in the fresh air for a drive and some tunes. Sometimes, it’s letting the little dude lead our entire day with his imagination and wild spirit. Those lists are going to keep carrying over, and the big picture will happen with patience and presevering onwards. Don’t give up on the little stuff, but don’t sweat any of it either.
Life is in the details, life is in all the little details that lead my direction these days.